I don't remember my dreams...like ever.
The few times I actually remember my dreams it's because someone/something wakes me up suddenly. I could probably count on my hands the number of times I can vividly recall a dream. Seriously.
Now that I'm pregnant the crazy preggo dreams are kicking in full force. First of all, apparently I'm talking in my sleep. Like full on conversations and I don't remember any of it. It's been quite entertaining for Ricky.
Over the last two weeks, I have had this strain of dreams that involve people invading my space. It makes sense because our house was ransacked. These aren't I'm coming in your house to rob you and take your stuff and put your life in danger. No these are, I'm literally invading your bubble just to annoy the shit out of you dreams. This weeks was about a neighbor who decided to hire contractors and built a fence literally two feet outside of our back door, but before the fence was complete, his huge asshole dogs got out and into my house and woke up the baby.
The other was 3 days in a row of the same dream, someone trying to push their way into my front door, but they were always different people. One included a small toddler that I literally kicked (like drop kicked) off of my front porch.
It's been interesting to say the least.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited. I don't know that excited is the word.
Yes I am happy. It's amazing this little miracle that is growing inside of me. I can't wait to feel overwhelmed when I feel movement the first time or the next time I have an ultrasound. But I'm not excited.
I feel like I'm in a time crunch to fix my life in 6 short months. It's a blessing, don't get me wrong, but I am not prepared. I didn't think a baby would be in my future for another 4-5 years, AT LEAST. I'm still working on my relationship that hit a VERY rocky patch a few months ago. I'm broke. Our house just got robbed and I want to move. I feel like all of the rest of these things are overwhelming the "excited" feelings I should be having.
I feel like people are judging me because I'm not all glowy and "excited"
I'm scared that I am going to have to care for another human when I'm barely making it by myself. I'm being logical...coming from this emotionally driven person, its a very weird feeling... and logically I have 6 months, that's it to at least get out of this disaster that my life fell into at the end of 2013.
Yes I am happy. It's amazing this little miracle that is growing inside of me. I can't wait to feel overwhelmed when I feel movement the first time or the next time I have an ultrasound. But I'm not excited.
I feel like I'm in a time crunch to fix my life in 6 short months. It's a blessing, don't get me wrong, but I am not prepared. I didn't think a baby would be in my future for another 4-5 years, AT LEAST. I'm still working on my relationship that hit a VERY rocky patch a few months ago. I'm broke. Our house just got robbed and I want to move. I feel like all of the rest of these things are overwhelming the "excited" feelings I should be having.
I feel like people are judging me because I'm not all glowy and "excited"
I'm scared that I am going to have to care for another human when I'm barely making it by myself. I'm being logical...coming from this emotionally driven person, its a very weird feeling... and logically I have 6 months, that's it to at least get out of this disaster that my life fell into at the end of 2013.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
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