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Met Gala

My hands-down, favorite fashion event of the year happened last night, Met Costume Institute Gala. This years event was in tribute to Charles James, so the stars hit the carpet in elegant, detailed ball gowns. Now for the good, the bad, and the down right WTF moments.


The Good:

I have a 3 way tie for best dressed. 

 Rihanna: This all white Stella McCartney 2 piece gown was breath taking on  Riri. It was so simple and stunning and definitely sexy. It is the best look she has had in quite a while.

 Karolina Kurkova- This Marchesa gown is SO beautiful. It has all of the elements of a 1950's ball gown, with intricate painted flower detailing. Give me satin gloves and big diamonds and call me a queen. This gown is ready for a royal crowning. STUNNING!












Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds- best dressed couple, hands down, both in Gucci. Blake's dress is sheer Hollywood glam. With detailed beading and draping in all of the right places, she looks so elegant and Ryan Reynolds makes the perfect accessory.

The Bad:

 Mary Kate and Ashley Olson: Seriously, you are billionaires. Hire a tailor and a stylist. This look is old and expected from this pair: baggy, ill-fitting super expensive clothes that look like trashbags.

Sarah Jessica Parker: She is one person who always goes all out of the gala, but this is all wrong. The front of the Oscar De La Renta dress is stunning, but the back looks tacky.

Lupita Nyong'l 2014's Red Carpet Queen has finally had a mis-step. Lupita's trail of carpet victories came crashing down in the flapper inspired disaster. I get what she was going for, but this looks cheap and tacky. It's part Carnival, part Vegas Show Girl, part Mardi Gras.
















What the Hell were they thinking:

 Katie Holmes came dressed as Belle from Beauty in the Beast.

Kristen Dunst wore a Death Star Themed Rodarte gown. It would have been appropriate if the gala was on May 4th, but you were a day late and a dollar short. 

 Lena Dunham: the dress itself wasn't so bad, but she it was unflattering for her figure and she is just a hot mess

Sandra Lee---OMG...I just can't . 

Registry Wish List

I recently took on the challenge of the Baby Shower Registry. This was one of the things that I was most looking forward to. Little did I know how much baby gear existed on this planet!!

Ricky and I ventured out to Babies R Us one weekend, thinking that we could knock this project out pretty quickly.  We soon realized that there are 40 million options for everything from nail clippers to cribs.  We haphazardly scanned things we thought we might need and I ran home and began pinteresting and researching as much as I could.

Here are a few of the things I found that are on my baby wish list:

Alva Pocket Diapers:  I am going to attempt cloth diapering, but they are also good to have on hand for the times that baby gets a diaper rash. Cloth Diapering isn't like it was when you are a baby. It's a streamlined process that is almost as easy as using disposables.

 Leachco Prop 'R Shopper - Shopping Cart Cover - Protect your baby from sticky, dirty, germ-filled shopping cart surfaces with the Prop 'R Shopper. The thickly padded cover includes two soft and cushiony pillow props to keep your baby upright, as well as toy tabs to keep baby's favorite toys and teethers nearby while you shop. The adjustable safety belt helps keep baby safely in place and seated. Includes a convenient storage pouch for all your shopping essentials.

 The BRICA Fold 'n Go Travel Bassinet provides your baby with a safe and comfortable place to sleep anywhere, whether you're at the park, the beach, or visiting family and friends. This lightweight travel bassinet sets up and folds down in seconds and includes a convenient carrying handle. Its locking frame and durable side walls provide stability, while breathable fabric, ventilated mesh panels and a comfortable mattress pad keep your little one cozy.

 Nuk Smoothie and Baby Food maker: NUK makes preparing fresh homemade baby food and smoothies for your family quick, easy, and affordable! The NUK Smoothie & Baby Food Maker 20 piece set gets your child off to the right start eating healthy fresh food and delicious smoothies. It gives you two great ways to nourish your child. You can blend fresh baby food in seconds in the blender bowl. And, you can blend smoothies directly in the included sippy cup which is specially designed for smoothies. Healthy and nutritious is now quick and easy too!


Aquatopia deluxe safety easy bath kneeler makes you stay safe and comfortable during bath time with the extra large, deluxe, anti-slip cushioned pad for your knees and extra padding for your elbows. It is easy to use. The kneeler unfolds in seconds. It is made from water friendly neoprene and it has pockets that are perfect for soaps and shampoos, keeping everything you need close at hand. The simple fold-away design makes for easy storage virtually anywhere and it fits any standard tub. 

   

We currently don't have a dishwasher. This countertop piece will make having the addition of bottles and accessories less of a hassle. While I'm not expecting to see this at one of my showers, I am going to take advantage of the registration discount and make this a part of my daily routine.

Crunchy Mom?

While I don't have anything physically ready for the baby, I am mentally preparing myself.

Living off of a tight income, I'm preparing for the fact that I am going to need to be very budget conscious. I'm great at making a budget, I'm TERRIBLE at following one. One of the things that I am seriously considering, is adopting some crunchy mom habits.

According to urbandictionary.com:

Crunchy Mom

A member of an increasingly growing group of moms who are neo-hippies.

They generally believe (for varying reasons) that there is something bad or less beneficial about buying mainstream products or doing other common activities in the mainstream way.

You might be a crunchy mom if you:

...bake all your own bread
...make your own jam, jelly, pickles, applesauce, etc.
...gave birth at home -- by CHOICE! (With a midwife, doula, or unassisted!)
...prefer to teach your children yourself at home instead of letting the public or private schools do it for you.
...grow your own food as much as possible, and buy the rest at farmer's markets or health food stores.
...are vegan or vegetarian.
...choose not to use birth control.
...don't wear a bra or shoes.
...don't use shampoo or soap, but instead maybe sea salt or a variety of other things.
...had your placenta chopped up for an anti-depressant pill or smoothie.
...have no television in your home -- and actually read BOOKS for entertainment!
...grind your own grain to make your own bread with (did you know that wheat looses about 90% of it's nutrients within 7 days of being ground?)
...don't cut your hair or wear pants (not going around half-naked, but wearing skirts! Silly people! Get your mind out of the gutter!)
...can add 10 more things to this list that I didn't even think of!

If it were a spectrum, on the extreme far end you would find Amish.

A little extreme huh? I don't have the patience or the drive to be a full on crunchy mom. But some of their Eco-friendly ways are SUPER budget friendly.

Here are some of the things I'm considering:

 

Cloth Diapering- Maybe not full time, maybe not at all, but I want to try it. Did you know that for between $300-500 you can diaper your newborn through potty training AND possibly re-use them for other children or re-sell them. The average cost to use disposable diapers for one child is between $1000-3000.

Breast-feeding: not only is it eco-friendly and better for the baby, it's  FREE

 

Growing your own food--Just kidding---I've said that I have wanted to grow vegetables since I moved out of my parents house, not one seed has been planted. Maybe one day.

 

Making baby food- 60% of what you are paying for is packaging. I'm already buying food, why not just buy a little extra, mush it up  and give it to baby. 

 

Baby-wearing: Sometimes. I like the idea of using baby carriers rather than having them laid on the back of their head all day in  a stroller/ on a bed/floor. It also helps with bonding between the child and parent. 

 

What are some other crunchy-momma habits that you practice?

Overwhelmed

Today I am feeling overwhelmed. I realized last night that I am in the back end of this pregnancy and I'm not prepared. My relationship is on the rocks. I'm broke. I don't have anything I need for the baby. I'm broke (again).

I got into a fight with the boyfriend on the way to work today. Being pissed off at 9am is not a great way to start. So, I'm sitting in my cube..looking pissed off and unsocial (I wear this face really well)...and the ever lovely, unsolicited, mommy advice avalanches in.

Oh aren't you so excited for the 3 months of maternity leave?
Me: no, I'll be taking the 6 weeks allowance and might come back part time for two weeks after that
oh, well at least it's paid
me: no, you only get part of your paycheck on leave
well aren't there laws against that? can your parents help you? what are you going to do? cant you get state assistance? cant your boyfriend work? cant you do anything? It's super hard you know, like really hard, here is a list of all of the horrible things i went through when I had babies back to back at 19.

OMG shut the F(#* UP!  Someone please have a bottle of wine for me....and please gift me with alcohol once the baby comes.

Lookbooks

One of my favorite parts of my job is our photoshoots.

Twice a year we put together a lookbook that contains images of the upcoming seasons shoes. It is a lot of work from all of the departments in our office that comes together with our lookbooks  that we prepare to show at our Tradeshows.


Here are the lookbooks we did last season:
Testosterone:

Diba True:

Luichiny:

Luichiny Formal:

Bronx:

It's a......

We had our ultrasound last week and baby Runge let us know that he is a big healthy baby boy.

I'm feeling much better these days and am getting excited as I am starting to feel his little movements and see my stomach getting bigger everyday.

Ricky and I are narrowing down the name list and have a few favorites.

It's hard to imagine that this little guy will be here in just a few short months!

 

Making my wardrobe last as my bump gets bigger

I'm officially at the halfway point in my pregnancy and my bump is beginning to grow, which means that my regular clothes are starting to become really uncomfortable.

I'm trying at ALL costs to avoid looking like this:

But, as a mama to be on a budget---like no budget for clothes--- I'm trying to make my everyday clothes last as long as possible. I've invested in a couple of pieces to make my wardrobe expand a little further, but not more than $60.


My Investments:

A new Bra- My boobs exploded a full size with in weeks of finding out I was pregnant. I went to Target and spent $15 on a new one The only reason I didn't buy a $9.99 bra is that they didn't have my size!

















Belly Band- They feel a little weird, but you leave your pants unzipped and place the belly band on top of them and your pants will still fit for a little while.

Maternity Jeans- I found a pair similar to these at Gordmans. At least one pair is worth the investment.
















What I'm not spending money on:
Tank Tops- I have quite a few long tank tops in my wardrobe already that will be accompanying me through this preggo journey. They are great to wear under tunics, or under just about anything and will make sure that my ever growing belly will remain covered at all times.

Leggings- ! They are life savers at this point. Most days I just don't want to wear pants, so I don't! Top to bottom they stretch and they are comfortable. I did buy a pair of thicker yoga pants so the material looks a little nicer, but my $5-10 leggings have made quite a few appearances in my wardrobe lately.

Cardigans and tunics- I love comfortable, casual looks, so I have tons of this style shirt and they should fit me throug most of my pregnancy.

Maxi Skirts/dresses- Since I'm expecting a summer baby, I will probably live in these in the last few months of my pregnancy.


Some styling tips to help get me through:
Monochromatic: I'm currently in a stage where if you don't know me, you might not know that I'm pregnant. To stay away from feeling fluffy, wear all the same color! It's slimming no matter what your size since your eyes aren't drawn to one part of the body over another.


Patterns- Stripes, poke dots, flowers etc. Add some interest into your outfit and they will help camouflage some of your spots that you would like to draw attention from.

Embrace the bump: remember how frumpy women in the 80's looked because the maternity dress code was a moomoo. Boxy, loose, and lifeless clothing is not sexy. Don't be afraid to dress your bump and show it off.

Fn Platform

 I spent this last week in Las Vegas for the FN Platform shoe show. We had a booth re-design for all of our brands and  I think it will well recepted by all of the buyers. In all we had a great reception to our Fall 2014 lines and it was a great success!

Fergie was at the show for her shoe line.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman did not have choice or free will and neither do you.--Re Posted from debbie bayer blog

There is a mental health crisis that is manifesting as addiction in this country. Please read. 

http://debbiebayerblog.com/2014/02/04/phillip-seymour-hoffman-did-not-have-choice-or-free-will-and-neither-do-you/

In the wake of the tragic loss of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, a great artist, partner, father, brother, and son, I offer the following facts about the neurological disease of addiction.

The overwhelming majority of adults in the western world have passed through experimental stages in their lives where they have dabbled with some kind of brain altering addictive substance, i.e., cigarettes, alcohol, prescriptionpain killers, ADHD medication, anti-anxiety medication, and yes, even marijuana (save the ‘it’s not addictive” arguments for later, please).  And the overwhelming majority of these adults will emerge from their experiments unscathed, believing that their free will and good choices are what saved them from becoming addicted.

The problem with this thinking is that it is factually incorrect.  In other words, they are all wrong.
What saved them (you) from becoming addicted is that their brains did not respond in the same way that an addict’s brain does. They were born with a resistance to addiction. Their free will and good choices had nothing to do with it.

It is time for all of us who got through unscathed to stop patting ourselves on the back for our genetic good luck, and it is time to stop judging those who were not born with the same good genes as defective.

About Phillip Seymour Hoffman, a relapsing drug addict, you may have had the thoughts, “He knew better.” or “Shame on him for throwing his life away.”
Let’s look at these ideas through the lens of how the brain actually works. Yes, he “knew better.” He ‘knew better’ in the frontal lobes of his brain, where we all execute our better judgment and can make calculations of our behaviors and circumstances based on risk and reward.
Here’s the problem, the activity of our frontal lobes can be shut down by the other parts of our brain when there is significant stress in our body. This comes from what is called the “fight, flight, freeze, or faint” mechanism.This mechanism in the brain is hard-wired into each of us for survival purposes. It is the part of the brain that puts someone into shock when they have been injured and/or traumatized. It is also the part of the brain that can allow a person to lift a car by themselves if their loved one or someone they care about is in danger.

The brain does not analyze the type of stress it is experiencing, that is, this ‘fight or flight mechanism’ is binary. It functions on a “yes” or “no” basis.  ”Yes,” there is enough stress to activate the mechanism or “no,” there is not enough stress to activate the mechanism. Human beings have no control over when this mechanism is activated.

This is how PTSD works. Seemingly innocuous sights, sounds, smells or sensations trigger this brain mechanism even when there is no actual threat to the person. The stress in the body is not even consciously recognizable to the person with PTSD. The brain reacts to the trigger and the person is put into the experience of being threatened without choice or control because the frontal lobes cannot get their signals through. When this mechanism is activated free will and choice become impossible. This is true for each and every human being on the planet, whether we like it or not.
The brain of an addict, Phillip Seymour Hoffman in this case, experiences withdrawal symptoms as stress. And since it operates on a binary system, it does not sort out “good” stress (I’m so sick because I’m kicking heroin-good for me!) from “bad” stress (I’m so sick because I’m kicking heroin I’d better call a doctor). The brain only knows if the stress is present or not and how much stress is present.

When withdrawal symptoms, i.e., physical distress, anxiety caused by emotional stress, etc. reach a certain point in the brain, the brain automatically cuts off the access to the frontal lobes (in a manner of speaking) and begins to direct the body rebalance the stress, to find equilibrium, so that the brain can return to “normal” functioning.

“Normal” functioning to the brain of an addict is defined as having the addictive substance in the body. So while any relapsing addict “knows better,” the addict literally cannot access the part of his brain where his/her better judgment is stored. The addict loses his choice and free will and is at the mercy of his brain which is in extreme stress and working to regain it’s equilibrium, at any cost, i.e., get more of the addictive substance.

The idea of losing choice, of relinquishing free will, is unthinkable to most of us, especially those of us fortunate enough to live in the U.S. where we have so many choices in so many areas of our lives. Also, human consciousness defends heavily against the possibility of ‘no choice’ which is paradoxical considering we each carry a brain mechanism that removes choice, but I digress.
Suffice it to say that according to our brain physiology, choice and no choice are equally important to the survival of the species. The problem is that we humans are only conscious of the importance of choice (and the free will to make those choices).

Over the centuries, mankind has had tremendous difficulty acknowledging and treating brain disorders of all kinds.  And we haven’t made much progress in our supposed “enlightened” age of civil rights either.  Consider this, it was less than 50 years ago that 90+% of those born with Down’s syndrome were institutionalized for life.  Also, in spite of (or maybe because of?) a tremendous increase in the diagnoses of brain disorders in the last 40 years, all but a small percentage of treatment centers and publicly funded programs for treatment have been permanently shut down.
What we have on our hands in the U.S. is a mental health, i.e., brain health, crisis. This is abundantly clear to us every time someone with a serious brain disorder buys an assault rifle. Actually, those instances are but the tip of a gigantic iceberg. And even though we have had great breakthroughs in neuroscience, we are woefully lagging behind in treating people who suffer and offering support to their families.

How did this happen? There are more than a few ways to answer that question. One of the important answers is that we are naturally defensive against the idea that brain disorders which disconnect us from our free will exist. It’s too frightening an idea to consider, so we come up with stories.
A century or more ago our stories revolved around the idea that the person suffering was possessed by demons, and that these demons ran in the family. Perhaps the person’s mother was possessed? May she was a witch? Someone in that family must have sinned and now they are being punished, etc.

It was stories like these that ran so strongly through our cultures that families up until, well now, actually hid loved ones away in mental institutions and even disavowed knowledge or connection to them in order to avoid the stigma that would be placed on the healthy family members also.
We have made some progress, but as Mr. Hoffman’s death painfully points out, not nearly enough. We seem to have compassion and some amount of treatment and support available for those who have schizophrenia, psychosis, delusional disorder, autism, and Downs syndrome.  (It’s not nearly enough treatment and support and the families and loved ones of those with these disorders suffer an enormous amount financially, emotionally, and physically with the burden of lifetime care of those who live with these challenges.)

Outside of these few of the many neurological disorders that exist we lose all compassion and concern for people and their families who are suffering, and we tell a modern day version of the demon possession story about them.

We continue to isolate and reject people suffering from a physiological disorder of the brain and force their families and loved ones to bear the lifetime burden of their care in shame and silence, in 2014, in the wealthiest nation the planet has ever known.

Our stories about these people who look so normal, so successful, on the outside but whose lives come crumbling down upon them or are cut ridiculously short no longer revolve around possession by evil spirits but by a defect in their character (selfish, lazy, greedy, arrogant, gluttonous, apathetic, hedonistic, etc.), a defect in their temperament (evil, violent, narcissistic, vain, eccentric, etc.) or a defect in their judgement or intelligence (immature, moron, idiot, being an a**hole).

In the absence of knowledge about how the brain functions these stories created theories about the causes of these behaviors (moral corruption, low character) and consequences which mirrored our cultural value system (it’s their own fault, they got what they deserved).  Out of our stories came ideas on how to avoid these behaviors (work hard, believe in God, be kind to others), consequences of these behaviors (why goes around comes around, God helps those who help themselves) and systems of support to uphold the implementation of these ideas (church, 12 step, therapy). Sometimes the theories, ideas for correction and the support systems even work, but sadly, not most of the time.
All of the above stories/theories are normal individual and cultural adaptations to the unexplainable. This is how we humans learn and grow. Gratefully, these days few if any people think a person with a phobia has had a spell cast upon him by a witch and now needs an exorcism while the family and neighbors have to find and lynch the witch.

Neither is a person with an addiction suffering from poor character, temperament, or judgment from which he can be cured with hard work, belief in God, attendance at church, 12 step and therapy. (Hang in there, recovered and recovering 12 steppers. I’m on your side. See ** below.)

What we fail to see is  a) how self-serving these old stories are, and b) how ineffective our current treatment modalities are (see #a). Our theories about addiction don’t really exist to explain the illogical behavior of someone who is suffering, but mostly to separate ourselves from that behavior with the assurance that what has happened to that “loser” won’t happen to us. And when the need to distance ourselves from that “loser” is satisfied we don’t bother to fact check our theories. Nor to we bother to notice if the treatment schemas we’ve created even work (they don’t).  Rather good proof that our theories are self-serving, don’t you think?

We also fail to notice the fear and sadness that comes up for us when we hear of the tragedies that befall those with high-functioning neurological disorders, especially now. It’s 2014 and tragedies like the death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman have been happening steadily for 40+ years, with no end and no answer in sight. In light of this kind of repetitive hopelessness we are left with little choice but to blame the victims in order to soothe ourselves. And it is difficult, if not impossible to create solutions in the presence of hopelessness.

The mental health/brain disorder crisis we are facing right now, this decades-long epidemic, is with the so-called high-functioning neurological disorders, i.e., depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ocd, anorexia, bulimia, and addiction (I have left out more than a few of the disorders, but these are the most familiar of the lot).

However, neuroscience is offering us the best reason to hope for good treatment outcomes in decades. The more we learn about how the brain works (like when the fight/flight mechanism is activated) and how it works when it is “broken” (fight/flight mechanism too easily triggered in addicts) the easier it will be for people who have these brain glitches to be identified and treated without shame and blame.

The first, most effective way to face our cultural crises of too many people with brain disorders being undiagnosed and untreated is to educate ourselves about these disorders and learn to spot the people who are suffering so that we can help them understand what is wrong with them and help them to agree to receive treatment.  We have to change our cultural view of addiction and the like before we can create more effective treatments for it and the other high-functioning neural disorders.
The change has to come from those of us who either do not have the disorders or have been successfully treated for the disorders because those with the disorders are not able to help themselves.
I like to say it this way, the last person to know that his brain is broken is the person with the broken brain.

This is just the way human consciousness works.  The only organ in the body that seems to make self-diagnosis impossible is the brain. I mean there is no mistaking a kidney stone trying to pass. When someone is in that kind of pain they don’t blame it on their lack of character. But the brain is expert at being able to reframe and explain away its own glitches.
Whatever isn’t working in a person’s brain is that person’s “normal.”  Over time people with high-functioning neurological disorders develop plausible explanations for their symptoms and adapt to them as best as they can.

And when life problems that are obviously (to those around them) connected to their neurological disorders become apparent on the outside of their lives (car accidents, drained bank accounts, lost jobs, broken marriages, etc.) they usually blame their own character defects or someone or something else. Therefore, the person with the problem is the least likely to be able to get themselves the help they need.

The way to begin to help people like Phillip Seymour Hoffman (deceased-drug addiction), actor Cory Monteith (deceased-drug addiction), singer Amy Winehouse (deceased-alcoholism), author David Foster Wallace (deceased-depression),actor Jon Hamm (depression), TV personality Nicole Richie (anorexia), actress Karla Alvarez (deceased-anorexia/bulimia), actress Amanda Byne (bi-polar disorder), actor Howie Mandel (ocd) , reality TV star Vinnie Guadagnino (anxiety disorder),  actress Brooke Shields (postpartum depression) is to become educated about the physiological causes of these disorders so that when you see the behaviors in friends and loved ones you can begin to educate and support them.

Here is where the education begins, when otherwise high functioning people think and act in ways that defy facts and logic and threaten their well-being and the well-being of their loved ones, then we need to understand that they have a brain disorder, not a moral or character disorder; and they need medical treatment, not shaming, blaming, therapy or a sentence to a 12 step program.
This means that alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, suicide attempts, phobias, adhd, anxiety and depression, et al are all disorders of the brain and as such need the treatment of a medical doctor first.

(Read that again. It’s a truth, not a theory. But since the truth is not widely known it will seem counter intuitive. You will want to say, “Yeah, but…..” Read it again. Alcoholism is a brain disorder. Drug addiction is a brain disorder. Let it sink in.)

Here’s why this is true–otherwise high functioning people could not be high functioning without good judgment, good enough character, and at least average intelligence.  If they can hold down a job, go about the activities of daily living, have friendships and loved ones, and display empathy towards others before and during their lapses, melt downs, relapses, et al.,  then their frontal lobes are fully functioning.

The only explanation, for their behaviors then, is that their frontal lobes (where their high-functioning skills are located) have been hijacked by a different part of their brain.  When someone’s brain is highjacking their frontal lobes, they need medical treatment.

Blessedly, neuroscience is catching up with us and giving us facts about how our brains actually work.  So it is time NOW to drop those stories we have made up and begin to apply the facts of neuroscience as we understand them to the untimely deaths of addicts of all kinds and to the public meltdowns of otherwise functioning adults.

And it is way past time that we spread the word about what is really going on with these people who struggle mightily and their families who bear the burden of loving them and having to care for them.
Remember, these people don’t know that their brains are broken.  They are high-functioning and so they blame themselves. And they come to hate themselves for their problems more than you can imagine.  They live in a dark and self-loathing world where they come to believe that they don’t deserve any help which is why they don’t surrender themselves for treatment. They need the help of their friends and families and the world around them in order to get around the obstacles of their broken brains to get help.

When our entire culture understands as common sense that addiction is an individual neurological disorder that requires immediate medical attention then a person like Phillip Seymour Hoffman has a chance to understand that he has “one of those brains” that will shut down his frontal lobes and take away his ability to exercise good judgement and control of his behaviors.  And until he knows this fact about his brain in same the way that he knows a bone sticking out of his leg means he needs to go to the ER, then him and those like him will not be able to ask for help.

And a guy like Phillip Seymour Hoffman isn’t going to know these things until we all know them.  And that time is NOW.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman died from having a combination of sensitivities in his neural wiring that caused his brain to override his better judgement, take away his free will and caused him to take the actions that ultimately killed him. It appears that these sensitivities were unknowingly activated by a prescription of pain killers that were necessary at the time to treat a different medical condition.  Because of his previous 23 years of being clean and sober he was presumed  safe to take the pain medication. And it looks like what he and maybe even his doctors didn’t know about how his brain worked kept him from staying in treatment long enough to allow his brain to rewire itself around those sensitivities and render him clean and sober again. For this, like all addicts in this situation, he deserves our kindness and compassion.

If this post has helped you to understand addiction please do share it.  My passion is to help educate us all so that more people with neurological disorders will get the treatment they need.
Debbie Bayer, MA, MFTI

**A note to my 12-step friends:  There are two caveats to the success of 12-step work 1) It works when you work it. and 2) You have to be honest, and some people are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.  There is no doubt that over the last 70+ years the 12-step community has the highest success rate among alcoholics of any other treatment modality. This community is also incredibly successful in the support of sobriety among drug addicts of all kinds.

The problem lies in the millions of people who cannot meet the two criteria for success in a 12-step program due to other types of brain disorders.  Their suffering demands that health professionals continue to seek out effective treatment strategies for them.  I am certain that you have compassion for their plight and support these more unfortunate folks in their recovery.

DB

bras

I have this fantastic little issue being pregnant and that is that my boobs are HUGE. The literally are busting out of every corner of my bra and not providing very much support AT ALL. They have been feeling snug for quite a few weeks now, and I even attempted to go bra shopping but I was so irritated because I didn't even know where to start. How much bigger are they going to get, how fast is it going to happen? I'm not going to invest in an expensive bra if they are going to keep growing and I'm only going to wear it for say 6-8 months.

However, I'm literally busting out of the seams, so I have to do something. So tonight I'm going to re-measure myself. Here's how:


http://www.herroom.com/bra-fitting-advice,901,30.html

STEP 1: Measure for band size:

Keeping the measuring tape parallel with the ground, measure around your bra directly under your bust after expelling all air from your lungs - you want this measurement to be as small as possible. Round all fractional measurements to the nearest whole number.



After a 38 band size, the band size should be the closest higher even number to your actual measurement So, 41.5" is a 42 band. A 41" measurement is a 42 band.

STEP 2: Measure for cup size:

Standing straight, with your arms at your side, measure at the fullest part of your bust (while wearing a non-padded bra) making sure the measuring tape is parallel with the ground and not binding. Round all fractional measurements to the nearest whole number.

 

STEP 3: *Calculate your bra size:

Subtract your band measurement (step 1) from your cup measurement (step 2). Generally, for each inch in difference, the cup goes up by one size. See the cup size conversion chart below.

Example:
Step 1: 34" under measurement = 36" band size
Step 2: 39" over measurement
Step 3: 39" - 36" = 3" or C Cup Size
Your Size is probably a 36C

The cup size calculation starts falling apart at 4 inches larger than your band size, and if you have droopy or pendulous breasts, your measurement will not be accurate.

 

 

If The Difference Is:	Your Standard Cup Size Is:	Your *Universal Cup Size™ Is:
0" to 1/2" (1.3cm)	AA
1/2"- 1" (2.6 cm)	A
2" (5.1 cm)	B
3" (7.6 cm)	C
3" (7.6 cm)	C
4" (10.2 cm)	D	D1
5" (12.7 cm)	DD * or E *	D2
6" (15.2 cm)	DDD * or F *	D3
7" (17.8 cm)	G *	D4
8" (20.3 cm)	H *	D5
9" (22.9 cm)	I *	D6
10" (25.4 cm)	J *	D7

 

Universal Cup Sizing™

* Cup sizes larger than a D are called different letters by different brands (a DDD cup size in one brand can be called an E or F in other brands). So know your UCS™ bra size and you can find your correct fit in any brand at HerRoom. Learn how to find your UCS™ bra size™

*Important Note: this measuring system tends to become less accurate as the cup sizes go above a D. Additionally, some manufacturers name larger cup sizes differently. See "The Proper Bra Measuring Techniques for Plus-Size Women".
 

Grammy's Wrap up

The grammys aired this past weekend. It was definitely one of the best in the last few years.  The fashion on the other hand was pretty boring compared to past years. With some stand out winners, the rest was just so-so.

Here is a round up of the best and worst.

 BEST:

 

Chrissy Tegen looking great in this metallic gown. 

 

This one is almost a miss. I think her hair is a little to "done" for this dress, and in any other venue it would not work, but it's perfect for the Grammys

 

Ciara rocking the best bump this season, hands down

 

Taylors Chain Mail dress was stunning

 

The guys provided the most daring looks this show, many stepping out in color, like John Ledgend in this Navy Gucci suit. He wins extra points for his super soulful rendition of "All Of Me" my favorite song right now. 

 

Amber Rose showing of her post baby body with dress hugging all of the right curves. 

 

Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis rocking these daring tailored colored suits. 

 

Daft punk. All of their looks have been perfectly tailored and their footwear ROCKED.

WORST

 

Fantasia-This is just a mess

 

Paris Hilton-From the front this was a great dress. From the back it was no good and the zipper makes this look messy

 

Zendaya

 

Paula Patton needs a new stylist. She is Gaudy. When your man looks so classic and elegant you should match that. Plus this isn't your show-you are his date, don't overpower his look. 

 

Pharrel. We all know that this hat was a disaster and was great promo for Arby's and the Canadian mountees. But can we talk about the fact that you are wearing an adidas track jacket, jeans and dirty shoes to an awards show, where you are nominated SEVEN times. Class it up a little. Ok, A lot.